Natural Hair- its me, not you.

It's not you...It's me

Well, I said I'd give it a try, and I did. After almost 6 months of letting my hair "go natural," I think I'm over it. It's not that I don't LOVE my natural hair...but I just don't have the TIME to dedicate to making sure it's healthy. I work full time, go to school part time, and am active in a lot of outside things. I have learned that natural tresses take a lot of time, care, and dedication.  Sadly, at this point in my life, I don't think I have it!

But, I am searching for ways to treat my hair much better this time around. First of all, I will no longer be perming my hair, rather, I'll go back to the old texturizer I used to get when I was younger. Yes, I know, its still a chemical, but it is less harsh than a perm. I'll also be processing my hair less often, but visiting the salon more frequently. I have discovered lots of natural products that I think will also benefit me, and am looking for ways to incorporate them into my hair routine.

The natural hair fanatics will call me a traitor and a blasphemer, but I gotta do what's right for me! Maybe I'll give it a go when I'm done with grad school. (MAY 2014!!!!!!!)

I'll post pics, post texturizer!

It's always too soon

When someone dies, it's always too soon.

It's only February, and, twice this year, I've been reminded of this fact. It doesn't matter if the person was sick, you're never ready for someone else's death.

Today, sitting at a conference with some students, I was looking on Twitter and saw a flurry of RIP messages. Someone in a fraternity had died...and then I recognized which fraternity, then the chapter...and then the name. My heart dropped and I felt sick to my stomach. I left the dining room gagging. I literally couldn't find the air.

There are genuinely nice people in this world. Jason was the kind of person I didn't see often, but when I did, he always had a joke and a good conversation. I genuinely enjoyed being around him. I remember I met him maybe a month after I crossed at a charity fundraising event---by the end he was horsing around with me and my linesisters like we were friends for years. Some people are just like that.

Not too long ago, maybe a week now, he commented on my facebook status, and I was happy to see his name. I told him (jokingly) how upset I was that he was on my campus and didn't come see me. Now, I wish that I had engaged him more...instead of just letting it go. I just figured I'd see him at the next event and tease him about being in my hood...the way he would tease me when he caught me on his campus.

You don't have to be best friends with someone to be affected by their death. It's so important that we realize the impact that we can have on people. It's not about what you say to people, but how you make them feel. I can't tell you what we talked about, but I can tell you that I was always laughing or shaking my head and having fun with Jason.

Two things: tell people how great you think they are TODAY. Don't wait for the next event. You can't count on it.

Be aware of how you make people feel...it's how they remember you.

May God grant the Morales family peace and understanding. My love, sympathy, and prayers to his brotherhood, Phi Iota Alpha, and to all who knew him.

May God rest your soul, Jason.

Locker Room Etiquette

This is the locker room, not your living room.

For those of us who played sports in high school and/or college, the locker room is where we laugh, cry, fight, make jokes, and become friends. If you are an athlete, I'm sure you can agree that getting undressed and dressed in a locker room really isn't a big deal, especially when you are surrounded by your team, your family. But still, this is all possible because of the unwritten rules of the locker room, which I intend to share with you here. Things are all good in the team room, but what about the general public locker room? Here are my thoughts.


Please, no gratuitous nudity.
I can say that I am unusually comfortable in any locker room, and your nudity really doesn't bother me because I'm not looking. HOWEVER,  madam, there is no need to be naked in excess of about 1 minute and 30 seconds. Quick story: I was at the Judge Me Zone, aka Planet Fitness last week, and I walk in to my normal locker to put my stuff in my locker and change. No lie, this woman was  naked for over an hour! I walked in, changed, worked out (1 hour cardio), changed, and left. By the time I was leaving, she had JUST put on a bra. Now...that is too much. WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR THAT LONG? And, I'm assuming that she had just gotten out of the shower when I got there because she was taking out fresh clothes from her bag. This is the locker room, not your living room!!! Put some clothes on...or at least cover up with a towel. Please, and thanks.

Get off of your cell phone
So, I am a member at a local gym (because I can't get out of my 2 year contract without paying A LOT of money) and PF. At my local gym, I often encounter Loud Cell Phone Talkers. No one wants to hear about your drama with your boyfriend, or what you had for lunch. And, why must you speak so loudly? Is the other person hard of hearing? In that case, texting probably works better. GET OFF OF YOUR PHONE! I'm tired because I just busted my butt lifting weights and the last thing I want to hear is your voice. Lower your voice, or leave the locker room!

Stop showing off
Listen, miss. I'm so happy you are fit and toned and everything that I aim to be, but please, stop hogging the mirror. I get it, you want to make sure your eyeliner is perfect and that your gym outfit is on 10, but some of us just want to make sure our shorts aren't on backwards. Kindly do all of this before your house.

Smile, Jesus loves you
Even though I just talked (typed?) a lot of bull, the truth is, I don't really see anyone in the locker room as a threat. Too many times, I think women automatically think they are being judged by other women in the locker room. And, while that may well be true, don't sweat it. It's okay to smile and say hello to the person next to you. We're all at the gym for the same reason--to get fit! So smile! Make a new friend in the locker room...just don't be creepy and stare while she's changing. Because that will not make you friends.


What bothers YOU in the locker room? Be sure to comment!!!

13 Things Ain't Nobody Got Time For in 2013

1. Your attitude

• We all have those days when you wake up playing out those "I wish she WOULD" scenarios. Things happen, you have bad days and that it fine. But ain't nobody got time for your attitude, especially when other people are having a good day! Don't ruin someone else's good day with your funky attitude. Have a hot bath and hug or a coke and a smile. 

2. Excuses

• It's 2013. Remember last year when you said you would lose 20 lbs? (I'm talking to myself and I don't care who knows it) or the year before that when you were going to get organized? Get your beach body? Read your Bible more? Go to church? Well, its 2013 and ain't nobody got time for your excuses. YOU shouldn't have time for your excuses. If you want things to change, you gotta do the work. Get to it!

3. Worrying about someone else's life (unless it's reality TV, then it's fair game)

• I am so guilty of "raising other people's children," especially in the Walmart and the mall. You know when you see some bad a** kid acting a damn fool and you whisper to your friend "If that was my child I would (insert punishment of choice)...but that's the mama's fault because (insert critique here)." LOL. Ain't nobody got time to be worried about those people! I went in Walmart to get some beans and a pack of socks, and here I am raising someone else's child. I don't know them people! (just like that!) If they ain't paying your bills, or sitting up in your house, why are you worried? Now, if you choose to throw yourself into the vortex of public opinion (AKA reality television), it is a choice you have made, and I WILL raise YOU and your kids. LOL. (hello, "The Sisterhood" Read this review!)

4. Worrying about what other people think

• You should always be concerned with the way you are perceived. But once you know that you have done the right thing, quit worrying about what other people think. Ain't nobody got time for that! Why waste your energy on something you cannot change? Only people you should be worried about are God, and your mama!

5. Trinidad James' videos on Youtube

• I'm just gonna leave this here...because ain't nobody got time to even...i can't. (but notice i didn't say the song...just the vids, LOL)

6. Disrespect

• Keep your disrespectful comments to yourself. If you're old enough to read this blog, you're old enough to know better, and ain't nobody got time for that!  I guarantee that while you are out here trying to disrespect someone, you're making yourself look childish and stupid. Then, someone has to get you together, and again, ain't nobody got time for that! 

7. Parking tickets  

• Listen Mr. Meter-Man, and Madam Meter-Woman, I know that this is your job, but can I get 5 minutes to get back to my car to put some quarters in? Ain't nobody got time to be running to my car and having an asthma attack! An emergency room visit is about 12 times the amount of money I gotta put in this meter! 

8. Long lines to purchase the same Jordans you had 10 years ago

• All I have to say is that I hope you all stand in the same long line to buy textbooks and give your tithes and offering unto the Lord. Ain't nobody got time for that. If you are standing in that line, all of your bills should be paid, and all of your children should have everything they need, and you should have bought your mom some groceries. 

9. Bad kids at the gym

• Ain't nobody got time for your bad kids at the gym. It's already crowded, and Johnny is running around the free weights like a fool. But, if I happen to knock Johnny upside the head during the barbell curl, it's my fault? No ma'am. Please give him a Nintendo DS and a whoppin and tell him to sit down. But, I'm not trying to raise your kids, or anything.

10. "You didn't get my e-mail?" "I didn't see that e-mail"

• -__- Oh, you didn't get that e-mail? You are messing up my work flow by stating these claims, and ain't nobody got time for that! Just take responsibility and say you forgot and let's move on. I have more respect for you admitting that you messed up than I do for your lies. 

11. Internet Thugs

• Point blank- If you wouldn't say it say it to someone in real life, DON'T put it on the internet. YOU AIN'T HARD, and ain't nobody got time for your e-thuggin. How old are you? and just as an addendum: y'all internet thugs are the ones with THE WORST spelling/grammar and mechanics...if you insist on engaging in this behavior, please grab an English 100 textbook and a copy of Strunk & White. 

12. Sagging Pants

• Young men! (and some old men ugh) Ain't nobody got time for your sagging pants. It's not attractive, not to mention it's origins. I mean some people say it doesn't mean that you're "available" in jail, but I really don't care. It's NOT CUTE! Pull your pants up! It's 2013...put your sagging pants away in the same drawer as your FUBU jersey. Please, thank you, and bless the Lord.

13. Facebook invitations

• Ain't nobody got time to sift through the hundreds of college parties and other questionable activities to find your legitimate party or get together. Please call me or send me an e-mail. (Watch me put up a facebook invite for my bday though. LOL *Shrug*)

What don't YOU have time for in 2013?! Comment!

Marley Twists!

I'm looking for a low maintenance style...what do you think?

I totally stole this pic, but thanks, girl! you are beautiful!

and here's a vid. I am not about the weave and extension life, but I like this! Someone want to do it for me? I'll pay you in food and love!

What do you think?!

SMASH is back!

It's finally back!

Let me be your staaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! Oh, excuse me. 

I LOVE THIS SHOW. If you enjoy a good musical, choreography, love stories, drama, and American Idol standouts, you will LOVE this show. I do not have time to get you all together and explain the many reasons why this show is the bomb (yes, the bomb) nor do I have time to catch you up on the first season. For that, you can click HERE. The site has full episodes and lots of extras. Get ya life. 

This season, Jennifer Hudson ( her AMAZING voice and body by Weight Watchers) joins the award winning cast which includes Debra Messing (of Will and Grace fame) and Katharine McPhee from American Idol. 

For those of you who are familiar, Ivy seems to still be causing drama, and I still don't see it for her, but I guess I will have to just watch. I can't wait to see all of the drama unfold though, especially around Julia's marriage!

Anyhoot, watch the trailer, and make plans for the 2-hour premier on Tuesday, February 5 at 9 pm!

Homemade Spaghetti Sauce

Is it healthy if I eat it over wheat pasta?

**Warning, this is not necessarily a healthy meal, but its better than Ragu**

I love to cook when I have the time, and I've been cooking up a storm in my new Christmas Paula Deen pots and pans...seriously, if you need a new set, invest, or ask Santa, or the Three Kings...whomever you choose. Fair warning...I give recipes like my mother, so if you are looking for anything more precise than "some peppers" and "a little bit of salt" please go somewhere else. LOL. I also cannot tell you how many calories there are, or how many people it feeds. Make it your own...

Ingredients:
1 big can of Crushed Tomatoes
1 small can of tomato paste
1 can of diced tomatoes
peppers and onions, diced (I cheated and got the frozen ones)
oregano
crushed red pepper
splenda or sugar
basil
Adobo and/or Badia Sazon Completa (or whatever "all purpose" seasoning you like)
salt
pepper
olive oil
garlic (jarred or even garlic powder)

Optional: Ground beef/ Meatballs (do yourself a favor and DO NOT buy lean meat, you need some of that fat/grease for flavor)

Directions:

If you are using meat (which I highly suggest), begin by browning and seasoning the meat. I used salt, pepper, Adobo and Sazon Completa. It's really to your taste. If using meatballs, they are probably already seasoned. If you can find a hometown, locally made meatball, BUY IT!  When its done, cover it and put aside.

Next, get your big pot and put a little olive oil (seriously a tiny bit) and the peppers and onions in. Put the stove on low to medium. Let those get soft, and add your diced tomatoes. Cook the tomatoes down a little (maybe 3-5 min), sprinkle some basil, oregano, and crushed red pepper and then add your can of crushed tomatoes. Let that go for about 2-3 min and add your tomato paste. Make sure you get it all out of the can! Be sure to stir it in well. I would let this go for about 5 mins, and stir maybe twice. You want it to kind of "melt."

Finally, add your meat...and the grease too. Trust me. It will make a difference. If it makes you feel better, don't add all of it. (But don't throw it away, just in case you change your mind.)

Now, season to taste. Be careful with the crushed red pepper...unless you like a little hot/tangy. Put the stove on really low and just let it simmer. Stir it, and smell it. Taste it, tweak it, and then smell it again. Repeat as many times as you need.

If you or a loved one suffers with acid issues, add the splenda or sugar...it will cut the acidity a bit. You only need a little bit unless you like sweet sauce, which i hate!

Now, at some point in this process, you should be cooking your pasta.

Et Voila! You're done! Buen Provecho!

(it is a very hearty sauce, so prepare for food coma! its serious.....Don't believe me just watch!)

((That was for you Ceejay and Aaron...LOL))