The Psychological Effects of Drugstore makeup for Dark-Skinned Girls (or, Why I've been buying the wrong color foundation)

LIGHTBULB.


If you're a dark skinned girl on a budget with a makeup addiction trying to satisfy your foundation cravings at the drug store...your first inclination is to **wait for it** pick the darkest shade. End of story. Whatever the darkest shade is...it will have to do.

I'm not saying that my light-skinned sisters don't have the same problem, but I think we can all agree there are WAY more options for you than for me.

It's winter here in Central New York which means NO SUN, EVER, AT ALL. Which also means that my Caucasian friends are hitting up the tanning beds to get ready for vacation (can someone please explain this to me...no shade, I genuinely don't understand) and the rest of us are returning to our lighter selves. Change of season means change of foundation shades. No big.

I have had random conversations with my friends and family about skin color in which I would say that I am dark-skinned and they would give me the "yeah...but you're not THAT dark" or "you are NOT, you are brown skinned" I still don't know the difference. But, even my mother would question my foundation choices like, "that's your shade? You sure?" My mom is more than a few shades lighter than me, so I figured she just didn't understand my dark-skinned problems.

AND THEN CAME YSL TEINT TOUCHE ECLAT. It is, by far, my most favorite (and most expensive) foundation ever. It matches me perfectly. PERFECT. LY. Naturally, I reached for the darkest one first, and my mother said..."I mean it matches, but its dark." So, I tried the lighter shade and the angels sang. When I got it home, I immediately began swatching my other fave foundations only to find that they were a completely different color! I figured, well, its YSL so it must have some french stuff that gives it a certain je ne sais quoi (what even...?).

(Lately, I'll admit that I've been taking much better care of my skin. I've been using mostly Yes to Grapefruit and Rx for Brown Skin. Recently I've added a toner and moisturizer from the Balm. Even so, my skin probably cleared up, but it did not change colors.)

But then, nothing could compare to that foundation. Everything was the wrong damn color. Even my beloved NARS, and Lancome, EVERYTHING WAS WRONG. I even bought the Queen collection foundation and it was TOO DAMN DARK. I was spiraling into a skin color identity crisis.

Here is where the phychobabble comes in. I had spent my whole life being the "darkest one." Friends families called me "morena" and "La Negra" (two terms for "black") which, are, despite how problematic they can be, terms of endearment.  It never really bothered me, it just was what it was. I went to a predominately white school so a lot of my teammates and friends were white. My non-white friends were light-skinned, my momma and mama (grandmother) are both light. I mean, to be fair, I also had lots of dark skinned girl friends, but the majority just weren't my color. And, starting out in drugstore makeup, I mean...there just weren't many options. In essence, I was the darkest shade. So, I got used to just buying the darkest shade.
(And, let me just say for all of you who may read this as self-hate, I love living in the skin God gave me. I would never, ever wish for anything else. I am beautiful, Black is beautiful, and I hope you ALL love the skin you're in)

This logic of "just pick the darkest shade" has lead me down a path to a drawer full of the wrong color foundation. I mean, thank God I can return most of them...and the darker shades will most likely suit me during the summer. I mean, I understand this is kind of a strange topic, but I guess here is what I want to say, and it doesn't even have anything to really do with makeup:

1. Love the skin you're in (even when makeup and skincare companies refuse to acknowledge your existence)

2. Don't settle! Don't buy the foundation that doesn't really match because its the only one available. Take your money to a company who will cater to you. (please broadly apply to your entire life, thanks)

3. KEEP ALL OF YOUR DAMN RECEIPTS! (every. last. one.)

4. ...and then RETURN and EXCHANGE!

What say ye? I'd love to read your comments. Also, can someone please explain tanning before you tan? Again, no shade, I just don't know!